Sexy Conversation Heart Cookies (NSFW)

Fair warning: if you're squeamish about sex or not into a few "dirty" words or one of my parents (haha), you might want to skip this post. 

It's probably not the most appropriate thing to have open at work either unless you work at some super cool kind of place. 

OK. Disclaimer over--now we can play!


I got the idea to make these Sexy Conversation Heart Cookies after spotting some cookies topped with song lyrics on Instagram a few days ago. Those are cute, I thought, but wouldn't it be fun to take it up a notch?

And so I did!

I made a batch of cut-out sugar cookies in sweet pastel colors inspired by classic conversation heart candies, then had fun stamping them with the kind of sexy messages you might whisper in bed or send in a late-night (or mid-afternoon? I'm not judging!) text.

Yeah...they're basically edible sexts. ;)

I used letter stamps to create the messages (I got my set on Amazon, but you can also find these at crafts and baking stores like Michael's).

It's admittedly a little bit tedious since you have to do it letter by letter, but the results are so fun that it's totally worth it. (And I generally shy away from overly high-maintenance baking projects.)

These would be super fun to serve or hand out as party favors at a bachelorette or Valentine's Day party, or to send to a long-distance sweetheart (though just make sure there's a warning so he/she isn't opening them in front of kids/bosses/parents/etc!). I bet you could probably turn them into a sexy date night game, too.

Seriously so much fun you can have with these--enjoy!

xoxo

Sexy Conversation Heart Cookies
Cookie recipe adapted from The Kitchn; yields about 3 dozen

Ingredients
1/2 pound unsalted butter, softened at room temperature
2 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature

1 cup granulated sugar

1 large egg

2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

1 teaspoon pure almond extract
1 tablespoon fresh lemon zest (about 1 whole lemon, zested)
3 cups all-purpose flour + more for rolling

1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon kosher salt

Additional Materials
Liquid food coloring in four colors (I used red, green, yellow, and blue to make these pictured shades)
Heart-shaped cookie cutter
Letter cookie stamps (I used this set - affiliate link)
Baking sheets
Parchment paper or silicon mats

Directions
Use an electric mixer to cream butter, cream cheese, and sugar until light and fluffy (about 5 minutes). Beat in the egg, vanilla, almond, and lemon zest and let mix about 2 more minutes.

Whisk together flour, baking powder, and salt in a separate bowl, then add to the butter mixture and mix quickly until fully incorporated—it should come together as a soft dough.

Sprinkle flour on your counter-top. Divide dough into four portions, then starting with one, place on the counter and add a few drops of your chosen food coloring, then gently knead into the dough, adding more flour as needed, until the color is evenly distributed. Repeat with other dough portions and different colors (remember that you can mix colors to make different shades!).

Pat each ball of dough into a disc, cover with plastic wrap, and chill at least 2 hours, and up to 3 days.

When ready to bake, preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line several baking sheets with parchment paper.

Dust surface with flour, and working with one disc of dough at a time (keep remaining dough chilled), roll out to 1/4” thick and use a cookie cutter to cut out heart shapes. Place hearts on baking sheet, and re-roll out remaining dough until all is used up.

Use letter stamps to make messages on dough (this part is a little tedious, but the results are so worth it!). Place back in fridge to chill if the dough becomes too soft.

Bake batches 6-8 minutes, keeping a close eye on cookies as they can burn quickly. Let cool in pan 5 minutes, before transferring to a rack to full cool.

Store cookies in an air-tight container at room temperature for up to one week.

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